By Michael Dorausch, D.C.

Broken any pool rules lately?

Growing up in Long Island, there were many summers I spent swimming in the pools of neighbors, relatives, and friends. We had a pool at my parents home in Huntington and the only rule I can remember was that there was to be no peeing in the pool (that’s what that cabana was for).

Hotels and resorts all had signs and I don’t remember what the rules were for those pools in the 70s, but staying at a resort this past week in Maui I snapped a photo of a Pool Etiquette sign which shows how much things have likely changed in the past 30 years.

Private Property Pool EtiquetteCounting the bullet points on the sign you can see that there are 10 “rules” of Pool Etiquette.

No lifeguard on duty and swimming at your own risk seems pretty standard. Children requiring an accompanying adult also seems rather standard and commonsensical. No glass allowed in the pool area is probably something that you’d see around any pool, it just makes good sense. The rest of the rules get a bit more interesting.

Anyone entering the pool is required to shower first. Is that to mean that people are supposed to shower immediately before entering the pool? In the week that I was hanging around the pool in Maui I can’t recall seeing anyone take a shower before getting in. It was common to see people get all hot and sweaty after a couple of hours of tanning and jump in the pool to cool off.

If you leave the pool to use the toilet you must shower before reentering. I wonder if anyone actually does this and does that include going pee?

Persons with infectious or communicable diseases are not permitted in the pool. There is probably a long list of all sorts of diseases that could put people at risk but how in the world would this be enforced?

Persons having open wounds are advised not to use the pool due to possible infection. You think?

Spitting, spouting of water or blowing your nose is strictly prohibited. Spitting in the pool is gross but don’t tell me you’ve never hocked a luggie into the poolside bushes after taking in an unexpected gulp of pool water. I’m assuming spouting of water is when you fill your mouth up and spray it on your unsuspecting siblings or friends. Pretty gross but undoubtedly still a popular practice among kids.

Infants and toddlers are required to use swim diapers. So much for the little ones getting naked and taking a dip.

In the event of human discharge, the pool shall be immediately closed for cleaning and shall remain closed until quality standards are met. We are left wondering what is meant by human discharge. Does that mean poop? What about boogers, spit, pee-pee, and other forms of discharge? It’s likely all of those, but aside from a caddy shack like chocolate bar event, probably difficult to determine that any human discharge has been made. While not mentioned, farting in the pool is probably also strictly prohibited.

Oh yeah, pets are not allowed in the pool.